What is Grieving?

Grieving is a natural process.

The death of someone we love can be a shattering experience.  We face the painful and demanding task of coping with loss and separation. At the same time there is the challenge of daily living and finding a new sense of purpose.  This takes time – often much longer than we expect.

During the grieving process these are some of the emotions and feelings commonly experienced:

• Sadness
• Longing
• Feeling of helplessness
• Guilt
• Anger
• Fear
• Numbness
• Physical pain or sickness

With time, and the support of friends, family and other groups, the pain of loss will normally become less sharp and people usually find that their grief eases.

Finding Help:

Sometimes the strong feelings and emotions do not seem to improve as time goes on, or you may find that you cannot handle the intensity of your feelings.

Perhaps you have nobody who is easy to talk to, or your relationships with others may be suffering as a result of the death.  It is quite common to find it is difficult to concentrate on work or everyday tasks.

You may feel you are “just not getting over it”.

It is at times like these that talking things through with someone else may help.  Sometimes your family doctor, minister or priest can help.  Perhaps there is a particular person in whom you can confide.

When we are faced with the painful and daunting task of picking up the pieces of our lives again without the presence of the one we love.  This takes time and can be a lonely battle.  Sometimes a Cruse Counsellor can help.

What is Cruse?

Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland is a national organisation which offers a free confidential bereavement counselling service to people of all ages.

Cruse volunteers are trained to listen and to help you to work through your grief. They have all undertaken a full training and are regularly supervised.

Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland is not aligned with any religious group or political party, and follows an equal opportunities policy.

 

How can Cruse help?

Cruse counselling offers an opportunity to discuss your experience of bereavement with someone who is trained neither to judge, nor to advise, but simply to listen.  What you are feeling or experiencing is your grief and in your counselling session that will be the focus.  It is your time to explore your feelings by talking to someone who is trained to help you tell your story.

Our branches can offer you:

One–to-one counselling –  one of our carefully selected and trained counsellors can arrange to meet with you on a one-to-one basis at a convenient time in branch premises or where this is not possible a GP surgery or similar premises.  Most clients feel that meeting outside the home gives counselling a better atmosphere but where a client has difficulty travelling to a suitable venue, the branch may be able to arrange for a counsellor to come to your home.  However, it would be important that you ensure that you will not have interruptions during the time that the counsellor would be with you.

Support Groups –  Some of our larger branches offer this opportunity to share and learn from other people in a similar situation.  Nevertheless, Cruse clients are normally seen in the first instance on a one-to-one basis.

Bereaved children – information and support is available for parents, teachers and the children themselves. Many branches have counsellors in the branch who are specially trained to work with bereaved children.  Click to view branches which offer this opportunity.

Leaflets and Publications – a range of leaflets are available to cover various circumstances.  In addition, a wide variety of publications for both bereaved people and professionals working with the bereaved are available to purchase.  Click to view leaflets and publications.

Social Groups – some branches have social groups for people who have completed  counselling and wish to meet socially with others who have been bereaved.  Social Groups tend to meet out with the usual branch venues and instead organise informal outings.

If you think bereavement counselling could help you, what is the next step?

If you think Cruse counselling could help you, please contact your local Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland branch.  Click to view branch telephone numbers.

Be prepared to leave a message as the phone is not manned at all times.  If the answerphone is in operation leave a brief message, remembering to give your name, address and telephone number with suitable times when we can contact you.  If you would prefer a written response please indicate this on the answerphone and we will send an Information Pack.  Cruse is aware that some people have difficulty using an answer machine and leaving a message.  Please try.

The local branch Referral Secretary will ask you a few questions about your needs and you will be able to ask any further questions you may have about counselling and the branch. If you decide you would like to see a counsellor you will be offered an initial interview and then, if mutually agreed, as soon as a counsellor becomes available she/he will contact you.

If you would like further information about the Cruse counselling service, you can view our Frequently Asked Questions to find out more.