A children and young person supporter

On Children's Grief Awareness Week, our fantastic volunteer Katherine who supports children and young people shares a story about one of her young clients.

“So, what do you actually do?”

The question feels like a challenge.

“I listen.”

“What do you mean, listen?”

It feels like my friend is not content with my first response.

“I listen to what they say.  I listen to their story, I listen to how they feel, and I acknowledge how difficult they are finding their life. I am their witness, one who doesn’t judge or offer advice.”

My friend still looks puzzled. 

“Surely there’s more to it?”

“Listening is the biggest part, being curious helps, but it’s important to build a relationship with the young person I am working with. Trust is essential.  There’s no faking it with young people. They are sensitive, emotionally intelligent, and they will soon find me out if I’m not genuine with them.”

Let me tell you a story about one of my young clients. They were 10 years old and struggling with the death of a loved family member. 

This young person was having a lot of time off school. They were finding it difficult to accept the death of their loved one. Anger, guilt, confusion, and sadness were some of the difficult emotions they talked of.

I will share with you something my young person told me at our 4^th appointment. I asked them, how they were feeling when telling me about these difficult emotions, and the response they gave me, amazes me to this day.

“When I’m talking to you, and I tell you about how I feel, it feels like I’m on my computer screen. 

“I open up a new tab, a new feeling, and I tell you how it feels for me, and just by talking to you about it, it feels like my difficult feelings are disappearing.”

My friend nodded his head.

“I think I understand a little bit better now, listening seems a very powerful support. Thank you.”