Elaine

Elaine has been volunteering with Cruse Scotland since 2010, helping support children, and young people and adults going through bereavement.

She shares why she volunteers and what volunteering has given her personally.

I was a bank manager and experienced the death of one of our staff members in the workplace.

I was at the point in my life where I was looking to do something different. I was not sure what that was.

After the death of one of our members of staff, we got some counsellors in to support everyone in whatever manner they wanted to. It was one of those things where I felt I could do that, and I would like to do that.

It was the start of my inquiry into how you become a counsellor. What is it going to cost me to do it? Who do I need to support me with it?

That is when I realised Cruse Scotland was a good place for me to be supported through the process. This set the next steps in my career change.

I completed my counselling course, and Cruse Scotland helped me work with adults, and once I got my post-graduate diploma, they supported me and took me on the board from that early start, so I felt so fortunate.

What has volunteering with Cruse Scotland given you personally?

It sounds like a strange thing to say, particularly where I am in my life just now, because I am now a retired counsellor; it gave me a sense of purpose that I have lost along the way.

When you work with people, and they share the things they share with you, it is very fulfilling.

How do you manage the emotional weight of hearing grief stories?

You must find a way to disconnect so that you can be present for the next client.

If something had gone on that was quite heavy, you must find your own way with that.

Some people go to the toilet and wash their hands. It is a way of going right; put that in a place that is safe just now and then work with my next client.

If you are going away, my car was my best place. Driving back from somewhere and being able to offload and think about what had happened, and then go where is the safe place for this?

Whatever that requires of you. One of my fears, the more you work with that deep emotion, is that sometimes you will become immune to it. So, you work with that in supervision and go why am I not feeling that with that person?