Hilary

On International Volunteer Day, Hilary shares why she volunteers for Cruse Scotland and the differences in supporting clients with additional needs.

“I had been volunteering with Aberdeen Advice & Counselling Service when someone told me about Cruse Scotland. In my line of work, I have seen the lingering impact of bereavement on children, adults, families and across generations.

"Part of this was that no one spoke about the loved one who had died, so as not to upset others.

“I thought to myself, I want to find out more about this charity and see if I can become a volunteer with it. The fact that it was both a national and a local charity was also influential in my decision to join.

“Just like each client is a unique individual, so is the client with additional needs. The first bereavement counselling session is vitally important, like a building block of trust, confidentiality in a safe space, exploring the client’s emotional well-being, their knowledge and depth of understanding of their loved one's death.

“As a bereavement counsellor, I am aware that it is important to accurately pick up the feelings of loss in the client with additional needs and support them using suitable words and language.” 

Helping children and young people

Hilary is also a children and young people supporter at Cruse Scotland.

“I am always amazed at the insight and resilience of children and young people (CYP) who are on their grief journey. They ‘yo-yo’ (Dual process model) from sad one moment to being happy in the moment.

“At our last agreed session with the CYP, we jointly celebrated the emotional work they have undertaken and completed on their grief journey.

“The difference in their voice tone, body posture, energy levels and interactions is noticeable and is a positive way to say cheerio.”

Having been a volunteer for just under 20 years, Hilary has had a number of conversations and connections with clients that have stayed with her.

“I have had a few memorable client experiences which have remained with me.

“A young boy painted the Cruse Scotland logo and brought it to his last session. He added a small smiley face, which was to be shared with other children, to let them know they could be happy and have fun again.

“A man with learning disabilities wanted to wear his kilt and recite Robert Burns 'Ode to a Mouse,' as he was unable to do so at his loved one’s funeral.

“A female client recommended a book she was reading- It was helping her in her grief. I obtained the book a few weeks later and read it, and I really struggled with it. I felt it was too fussy.

“My learning from that was that as individuals, we will find different resources helpful, and to highlight this to clients.”

Volunteering at Cruse Scotland

Hilary finds great reward in volunteering with Cruse Scotland and has advice for people thinking about volunteering.

“It has been wonderful to meet so many volunteers and staff who are kind, caring and want to help others in Scotland.

“Sometimes the news coverage is all negative. I have also made some good friends over the years. The online Coffee Connects are a great blended way to catch up with Cruse Scotland news and volunteers. 

Finally, the training and CPD events are supportive, engaging and informative.

”Firstly, read through the Cruse Scotland website. Secondly, get in touch with your local office, and thirdly, arrange to meet with the Area Manager. You won’t regret it. Join the Cruse Scotland Volunteer team."