Mo

I contacted Cruse Scotland when my dad died following a battle with pancreatic cancer. 

I was really struggling to process the loss and reached out on Facebook for some recommendations of someone to speak to, and Cruse Scotland had been recommended.

Unfortunately, I lost my mum two years later and reached out to Cruse Scotland again for initial help, as it was such a shock, and the incredible volunteer on the phone suggested coming back in a few months for more support.

What was your experience of Cruse Scotland’s Counselling service? How has it helped you?

June was incredible! She instantly made me feel at ease and validated my feelings. From trying to pretend that I was okay and going about my day-to-day life, she helped me identify what I was feeling and work through it.

A weekly session with her at the beginning was exactly what I needed; then, near the end of the remaining sessions, I was able to have a few weeks between and recommend other books, podcasts, etc.

How has grief shown up for you—physically, emotionally, in your daily life?

With the loss of both parents in two years, grief showed up in every possible way.

My long-term relationship ended in the midst of this, which also had an impact on my personal and social life with friends. I really shut down.

In what ways has the Counselling service helped you process your grief?

It allowed me to acknowledge what I was going through and helped me realise that it was ok.

I do not like being vulnerable or appearing so, but during the sessions with June, she helped me understand that this was both ok and necessary. 

This helped me let people in. The homework she gave me is something I still use when working through my grief.

What would you want people to understand about grief that is not often talked about?

Say your person’s name. After calling someone mum and dad all my life, not saying their names aloud is difficult. I did not expect how much that would hurt. I encourage people to talk about them.

Would you recommend Cruse Scotland’s Counselling service to others?

A million times over! Cannot recommend the services enough, and I was fortunate, in an unfortunate way, to use the service twice (once for each parent) and even got June for both, so it was like speaking to a familiar person that knew who I was and who they were!