Sandy

In March last year, Sandy’s oldest son died aged just 36. Sandy reflects on how hard it is for people who have not experienced this kind of loss to understand it.

Sandy said: “I was upset, and the full family was absolutely devastated. We struggled to cope with the loss and the grief. The grief is unbelievable.

“I think unless someone goes through losing a child, you can never understand or comprehend how it could affect you.

“Most people go through their lives losing their parents. If they are older, you can accept it from that point of view.

“But to lose a child, even though he was 36, the grief is just unimaginable.

“I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I do not think you could ever understand how it affects you.”

Contacting Cruse Scotland

Somewhere in the fog of those early days, Sandy did something courageous – reaching out for help. He looked around and found Cruse Scotland.

Sandy added: “I made initial contact with Cruse Scotland and had a couple of chats on the support line. I then had six sessions with a counsellor.

“It was good to speak to them and feel listened to. It is not going to change what happened, but it helps you open up and eliminate some of the grief, and you are explaining to someone how you feel.”

Sandy has thought about what to say to others who have lost a child or anyone navigating grief that feels too large to carry alone.

The answer, based on Sandy’s experience, is both simple and profound: speak to people. Do not carry it alone.

Sandy said: “The thought of people who cared and people who wanted to help you and wanted to support you, that was the most important thing for me.

It is good to speak to someone, and the people at Cruse Scotland are there to listen to you and hear your story, let it all out, and get support.”