Adele

Adele struggled to cope after the death of her husband last October. She shares how Cruse Scotland's Helpline became a lifeline for her. 

I lost my husband; he died last October, and he had been ill for quite a while before that, but it was still quite a shock.

I thought he had more time. I knew he was very ill with cancer, but I really did expect him to survive longer with treatment. But the time just ran out on us. I was told he had days, not weeks or months.

That was quite a hard thing to cope with, that news. So, I was busy up until the funeral, had a lot of friends and family about me at that time, and then they all seemed to disappear.

I mean, they are all busy people getting on with their own lives, I suppose, but so busy that I had nobody to whom I could talk.

So, Cruse Scotland’s Helpline really saved the day a lot of the time for me. I used that, I do not know, half a dozen times, more.

I phoned the Helpline and it was great to have somebody to speak to. And the other thing was because my children have grown up and left home, Peter had died, obviously, and I was just left in this house on my own, and it was hard.

And I think when you have got all these thoughts going round your head, and you are on your own, it just gets a lot worse.

So having a good listening ear made a big difference to me.

How has grief shown up for you—physically, emotionally, in your daily life?

I felt at the time that my brain was scrambled. So, the counsellors I spoke to were saying you do not need to have recovered by now, and you are going through this grief process.

So, I think just knowing that what I was feeling was normal made a big difference because I did feel I lost my marbles.

Which I think is quite a common thing for people to feel.

So many people have told me about losses that they've experienced now, and I think just being able to talk to somebody, whether it's a parent, a child, a partner, even a pet, you know, can all be really therapeutic for people, and I think it's good.

What was your experience of Cruse Scotland’s Helpline service? How has it helped you?

I think it did. Certainly, it was good to have somebody who could listen to me, and I must say that the people I spoke to on the Helpline were fantastic.

They really gave me the time to talk about my experiences and how I was feeling, and they were positive, just that you know, you're doing okay, don't worry, just try and keep going through your day. You know, don't look forward or look back too much time, try and be in the present.