Melanie

Melanie contacted Cruse Scotland after both her brothers died within six months of each other. 

She decided to reach out for help after struggling to cope with her grief.

Melanie said: “Grief is a very personal thing, and everyone manages it in their own way. I say manages and have an inward giggle to myself, as it was through counselling that I realised I had never really managed any of the losses in my life before.

“However, when I lost both my brothers, it hit me like a rock!! I was physically and emotionally drained. I was always trying to put on a brave face to everyone, but inside, I was crumbling.

“Anytime I was still, and their memories snuck into my head, I was a wreck, crying in the shower, thinking I was able to manage it all inwardly. I became short-tempered with loved ones and friends, all because I was afraid to give in and accept I needed help.

“Do not get me wrong, even now, little things can set me off, like a song or a memory, but when it does, I am able to smile.”

Cruse Scotland's Counselling Service

Melanie shares how Cruse Scotland’s Counselling Service made her feel that a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and had been an valuable experience for her.

She added: “When I had my first session, I had a vague idea of what to expect, as I had had counselling before for post-natal depression, but not really to deal with loss.

“I was made to feel very comfortable; my counsellor was very easy to be at ease with from the moment she introduced herself.

“Initially, I was sceptical about it doing any good; however, as sessions progressed, I realised how beneficial it has been for me, and each time I left the session, I felt as though a weight had been lifted.

“It has enabled me to accept and cope with not just the loss of family and friends but also things in my day-to-day life. It has been an unbelievably valuable experience for me and one I am so thankful for.

“Being able to talk to someone outside your inner circle in a safe and calming environment enables you to let go of emotions that until that moment you never realised had been so ingrained in yourself and holding you back.

“It has enabled me to be accepting of my losses, allowing myself time to process my emotions and to be kinder to myself when I am feeling sad.”

Advice for others

Melanie shares her advice to others who are going through a similar bereavement.

She said: “Never be afraid or feel ashamed to ask for help; it is not a weakness. It is something to embrace and be proud of; being able to reach out for help is a brave but also a rewarding thing to do.

“Being able to accept that sometimes you cannot just keep things inside and think it is okay. Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way in your own time. It is okay not to be okay.”