Rowan

Rowan contacted Cruse Scotland last November after a difficult period in her life left her feeling overwhelmed.

Following the death of her dad the previous year, alongside the loss of her husband eight years earlier and her child leaving home, Rowan found herself struggling with the weight of multiple losses.

Rowan shares her story and how Cruse Scotland's Counselling service helped her.

Can you tell us a bit about why you contacted Cruse Scotland?

I initially contacted Cruse Scotland last November. My GP referred me to a Community Link Worker when I collapsed due to stress, and they said I needed more support than they could give.

My dad died last year, my husband died eight years ago, and my child left home, and I was feeling yuck.

That was why I contacted Cruse Scotland.

What was your experience of Cruse Scotland’s Counselling service? How has it helped you?

It was great. My counsellor, Abbie, I could not praise her enough. To be honest, just being heard, because I live on my own and being encouraged to speak about the stuff that was bothering me, which friends do not really do for each other.

They do it for a few weeks after someone dies, but do not seem to realise that it is not a matter of weeks or months; it is years and years.

How has grief shown up for you—physically, emotionally, in your daily life?

I could not make decisions. I felt quite low. I was still managing to go to work, which quite amazed me because I was only doing three days a week by then.

I managed to do three days a week, which I was very proud of, but it took all my energy.

I retired just a few weeks ago. Speaking to Abbie helped me make decisions I could not have made on my own.

I was managing to get up and look after myself, my cats, and my adult child. I was not thriving but managing to do little things.

Has Cruse Scotland’s Counselling service helped you process your grief? If so, in what ways?

It helped immensely. It has helped me improve my mental health immensely, so that I could make decisions and manage to retire.

Just being able to talk to someone was such a saving grace. I was not great, but I feel like I can manage things now.

What advice would you give to others going through a similar loss?

Give yourself time to be there with your grief. It is tough, very tough. It can bring up all the other grief that you have had in your life.

Notice your body sensations, notice your feelings, notice your thoughts and be there for yourself.

Talking to other people can help, and be there for yourself.